The Hardest Thing

A couple of weeks ago I wrote that I would have some very exciting news to share with you but I am sorry to say that instead I have the most heartbreaking news to share.

A week before I was due to go on holiday I found out that I was pregnant. Excited was not the word I was so happy The Boy and I where planning for our new arrival we shared the news with family and friends and I was already getting a pretty big stomach. Everything seemed to be going as normal, however as I think you might have guessed it has not gone to plan…

Miscarriage it is such an ugly word and it has 100000’s of feelings behind it. The one I am feeling at the moment is guilt. Was it something I did? I know it wasn’t but it doesn’t stop it from hurting. 

While my family and I are dealing with this I am astounded with the support I have received from my friends and family and I am so grateful to them. They understand that I need my space so have given me that but I know that they are there.

Having Munch is also such a blessing I know people, like my sister who are unable to have children so I know I am lucky that I have her and I thank my lucky stars everyday for her and her funny ways that always make me smile.

I know that the gut wrenching despair I am feeling now might fade but I am not naive enough to think that it will fade completely I will never forget the pain, the guilt or the heartbreak, but with the understanding of my amazing family and the strength that I gain from my friends I know I will get there.

Thank you for reading this. 

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